It's Official: There's No Deep Six'ing Hot Gossip

Can't get enough of Britney, even if her latest slip-ups have entered the realm of the cringe-inducing? Has the celebrity game of musical rehab thrown you into a tizzy? Are you losing sleep over the latest blog trysts with the pseudo-news du jour covering B-listers and celeb-politicians? It's all good. You're not morally off-kilter: It's merely your survival instinct turning tricks, apparently.

No amount of hard facts can stem the rising tide of juicy gossip, and there's an evolutionary reason for this. That's right. Check out this article featured in yesterday's Science section of the New York Times, sent my way by one not-at-all-gossip-averse friend in Brooklyn. The article attests that gossip "promotes the 'indirect reciprocity' that made human society responsible." No matter how rational we may be, hearsay and second-hand accounts way in more heavily on our decision-making process than hard truth and figures. Why? Basically, it helps us get along and thrive as a society and whatnotscientific fact.

Take that, level-headed lobbyists of fair and balanced journalism! Score, media spinsters and PR! Gossip seems to trump facts time and time again, and molds our society with forceful sway.

Duh. It doesn't take a scientist to tell you this.
Publicists have known it all along. But now you know for sure: Even the most artless snoozes care for what others have to say, no matter what they say. It's been hard-coded into our DNA and it is essential for our survival as a species.

So don't buy into the hype that totes gossip as an insidious social evil. It does more good than harm, yes sir. No need to read the studies—you can totally take my word for it.

Next time you see a supermarket tabloid screaming sex and scandal on the news rack next to the latest issue of The Economist, make sure to thank the Creator for our impervious instinct at social prying. It's the reason you and I are alive and kicking—even though our collective psyche may end up a little damaged. In the end, the perception of the truth is more important than truth itself. Dare to disagree?


Natalia said...

So here I come again...I am into gossip, this goes beyond acceptance
however. I am definetly not one of those who are afraid of sneaking in corners just to mumble a little bit, it goes beyond, I am ot one of those who encourges people not to tell. If I ever have to run a campaign, Gossip would be mine. You can call me superflous...it´s ok, I am. And still it goes beyond, you may be able to ask me about Britney, stupid Lady D or even (boy... this is embarrassing) Justin and I may know. Why is it that We humans find so liberating, do we see ourselves reflected in those blurry confused eyes Britney shows lately, do we love it that they -posmodern-trashy-icons- can mess up so easily...? I think it is just a reminder of how similar to primates and cousin monkeys we are... so overwhelmed by this inmense world that we feel so tiny so helpless so easily on-the-spot, therefore too much of social animals!!!.I love gossip in the end the best shrink therapy u can ever have, talk 15 min about Britney... and you´ll see it... Is it so hard to understand?Or do u need the paparazzi picture? Magazines are always less expensive than shrinks...

Rosalia said...

I strongly disagree. I think media gossip is just a one of the many ways in which modern day capitalist societies have found a way to profit from nonesense. Somehow the media industry has managed to make people believe they need to know or read such useless information about vain individuals. I hate tabloids, do not watch TV and I do not care what happens to Britney. I cannot stand people that love gossip and I highly regard those who respect people's private lives.

Natalia said...

My question is: Can you really go against capitalism and media and gossip? Are we not the hyper- informed so-called posmodern generation? Isn´t it our duty to make differences from the inside rather than close doors behind us pretending too live 50 years before than we actually do? Isn´t everything in rubbish-modern life way too overwhelming? Aren´t we entitled to be light, informed and therefore be somehow able to determine and digest all the pop-up-information that we have to deal with? Finally isn´t internet like the biggest mass media ever?

Tricia said...

it is not often that you hear about publicist as hero (maybe hero is a bit too strong a word here), but anyway..since you may join our ranks one day soon, its nice to know we're not the scapegoat this time around.

Cristina said...

Gossip is the art of saying nothing in a way that leaves practically nothing unsaid. -- Walter Winchell