Television News Rolls Way Off the Tracks

I was watching CNN last night for the first time in about four months, thinking about how much I used to enjoy television before the digital space seduced me oh-so-deliciously, when I realized just how dorky the anchors on this cable news network really are.

I know most people have beef with the in-your-face attitude of the Fox News correspondents, but at least it seems like they have something important to say, and they’re not two-faced about their political slant. The delivery of the CNN folks just doesn’t cut it for me; it comes off as hypocritical. And the news! It’s a joke.

I was actually plugging away at my laptop and wasn't particularly interested at what was coming from the screen last night, but I did manage to capture a little of the awkward banter that was exchanged so profusely by the talking heads during Anderson Cooper 360.

There was some chitchat about a high-priced hybrid cat for sale in California (okay...), and then the show ended with the silver-haired anchor urging users to send in v-mails, because at CCN, they not only like to read our opinions, they love seeing us, too. How Web 2.0. Whatever. This could have passed for innovative like 5 years ago, maybe.

Then it was time for Larry King Live. Ok, I’ll stay tuned, I thought. I was too busy crafting an e-mail to change the channel. To my utter dismay, the guest was “CNN’s own” Lou Dobbs. Snap.

I need to call a time out here and let you guys know how much I hate this guy. He’s been the bête noire of television news for the past few years, at least for me. I try never to watch his show; it’s bad for my liver. I find him a doughy, thinly-veiled bigot--a man who claims to stand for “American” ideals of days gone by, or of days that never were. He spews gruff condescension and touts an inward-looking, nationalistic doctrine that irresponsibly dismisses the powerful forces currently shaping the world that he so blindly decries. And, he had the audacity to proclaim that his viewers never disagree with him. Right.

Television news is blowing chunks at epic proportions. Lou Dobbs can bite it, for all I care. My last hope for television news was CNN, but now I realize that even this network has become too self-serving for its own good. It’s no longer about news—it’s about self-promotion, ego pandering, and needless filler. Maybe I’ll try BBC News next time. Which is when I decided: No one’s forcing me to watch this. Time to turn it off.

I went for the remote and quickly zapped away the noise coming from my TV, and then contentedly dived back online.

I Want My Own Reality TV Intern!

Ah, the life of interns. It can be exciting, it can be cut-throat, and sometimes, well, it can be a little degrading. It can push doors wide open when you play your cards right: If you’re lucky and skilled at jockeying for open positions, you can give yourself a shot at life in the fast lane.

The pressure is on and the stakes are set high: You know that at any moment you can severely mess things up, have an entire project go off the rails, and bring death and despair to an entire industry. Or at least that’s how it seems after watching an episode of The Hills.

Alas, interning isn’t the stuff of intense drama, at least not usually. But it can, however, shed compelling light on the ins and outs of a particular career and help you find out if you can hack it in your field of interest. And thanks to the Internet, we now have high-profile interns sharing their experiences through blogs and articles of their very own, posted on corporate websites.

If you are exploring career opportunities, I recommend you start by checking out what these up-and-comers have to say. These blogs are a unique, insider’s view at what goes on behind closed doors. Tap into them for a real treat.

My friend Claire, who’s working at Bravo TV, has started an awesome blog as part of her interning gig at Project Runway. Her posts read like the down-to-earth, thinking woman’s version of The Devil Wears Prada. Not to mention, they’re LOL funny. If you’re into style and entertainment and want to know what it’s like running into famous TV folk at the office, I sears recommend you check out her blog.

By the way, another friend of mine who works in PR just hired her own personal assistant straight out of reality TV. That's right! She now has a pseudo-famous employee at her beck and call. How cool is that? I definitely need to get my hands on one of those, fer sure. Plus, I really need an assistant. A celebrity assistant, no less. Who doesn't?

Screenwriters Call Dibs on Profit 2.0

So Hollywood screenwriters are all up in arms about not getting enough dough from Web 2.0 and are calling a strike. Basically, they're fighting over residuals from new media and compensation over work distributed through mobile and online. They want their cut, and they want it now. The consequence is clear: If there's no settlement, the world will suddenly be devoid of those hokey scripts churned out daily out of LA that seem to keep this globe a-turnin'. Reality TV might take over for good. Reruns could rule the land.

Hmm. Ok, I get it. That could be serious. I think. But my question is: Do these copywriters know anything about Web 2.0 that they seem so adamant about collecting from it? I'm all for writers getting paid for their work, but part of me can't help but think this is just a bunch of entitled geeks gunning for the studios so they can keep pretending they're cool and influential or whatever.

My point is, if these Hollywood screenwriters understand new media so profusely, why aren't they using technology to their advantage, rallying troops online, using 2.0 to spread their word (content), and stirring up some support on the Web? And why, when things are down to the wire, haven't they been able to churn out an effective and realistic proposal to monetize their work online, aside from a percentage of DVD sales?

To me, this seems another case of old media realizing too late in the game that the Web is driving nails into their coffin; they're desperately vying to hold on to good days gone by. And producers are doing the impossible to prevent others from taking a dip in their revenue stream, whether it comes from online or off.

Old media can blow chunks, and will inevitably blow away like daffodils in a storm. Soon this will all just be a flash in the pan. Is it really that big a deal if prime time takes a hit? I don't think so. Bring on those reruns. Want to see where scriptwriting is headed? Click here for a sneak peek. It might not be award-winning work, but it evidences this much: The testing grounds for new entertainment--both from an artistic and a business standpoint--are being laid out on the pages of MySpace and YouTube, not on cable or network TV.

So what do you think? Are the screenwriters' demands totally called for, or is this just old media wriggling desperately to survive a changing landscape? Can the Internet somehow strip this strike of its intended impact?

Looks Like She's Got a Lot of Yogurt Left

Commenters really know how to bring it. For me, they make the blog experience that much more worthwhile (and volatile). In fact, most times I find myself clicking on a headline simply to check out how the readers themselves have illuminated a particular story through their quirky insights. So there’s a clip of Kid Nation on Gawker? I need to get on that right away. After all, I wanna weigh in on the show myself—but more than that, I can’t wait to read the snappy, snarky comments I know will make me grin, smirk, and simper as I scroll down below the fold.

For example: I was happily scanning a post this morning on Jezebel.com that spotlighted a story from today’s Wall Street Journal analyzing the lives and loves of New York’s most prominent socialites. Of course, the post included a not-so-hot photo of socialite Fabiola Beracasa with flat hair (that's the photo of her above). The first comment on the string: “That is NOT a good haircut for a head that size. I'm quite glad I have no clue who that is.” LOL. That’s the funniest thing I’ve read all morning.

First off, the commenter is dead on about the hair—it looks like someone plastered her coif down to make her head seem super-large (and the post is all about how she goes to the stylist every day. Awesome). And secondly, and perhaps more importantly--the user doesn’t even know who this person is (why should anyone, really?), nevertheless decides to not only read the post, but to comment on it by assessing the chick's 'do. Too funny.

So here’s the deal: Even for posts that read perfunctory, comments manage to add a level of dimension, depth, and wit (not to mention immediacy) that make reading them a tasty treat. There's no way to hedge a bullet once commenters chime in.

After the premiere of Gossip Girl the other night, the put-down-of-the-moment on comment strings and blogs alike has become “looks like you’ve got a lot of yogurt left.” Don’t know what this means? Don’t worry, I don’t know if anyone really does. But that’s the whole point, and that’s what makes it funny—it made no sense when Blair cut Serena with that one-liner on the show, and it still makes no sense now (maybe it's some sort of fat girl joke?). But Web commenters have made it their own, and in no time, I’m sure many will be using it to deride their most cherished frenemies. I hate to say it, but Fabiola, it looks like you've got a lot of yogurt left.