Hello guys, I’m back! After a long hiatus, I’ve decided to start blogging it out again — which I’m really excited about, as I feel I need to grease the wheels inside my head and get those creative sprockets a’churning. And I’m sure the two or three of you who read my blog are elated as well. Yeah!So, being the iconoclast I am (ha!), I’ve decided to venture into new territory and write my first screenplay. It’s about a zombie apocalypse. Wait, wait, hear me out! I’m super psyched about it, and it’s coming along quite nicely. I don’t wanna give away too many deets, but I will say it’s helping me evolve as a writer. Fo sho.
Basically, I decided to take a screenwriting class to re-up my creative battery, as I feel that working in advertising has thrown me in a slump of late. Writing copy, I feel like, can work both ways when it comes to your personal creative development — it can either stir you in just the right way by constantly re-booting and reloading your hard drive, or it can numb you by dousing you with boring-ass waves of mind-numbing same-old. So this is me belting out my rebel yell — I refuse to let myself cruise inside a calm cavern of creative complacency.
Anyway, these zombies, the ones in my screenplay — they will cut you. They will eat you. Just like any other zombie in any other zombie movie, I guess — but that’s okay. That’s the point. Just as my creative je ne sais quoi is sputtering and pattering along, turbulent and un-killable, these zombies will come get you with clumsy but unstoppable determination. And eat your brains. Or maybe just dismember you and then use your limbs as baseball bats and your broken bones as makeshift cleavers to saw you off in parts.
So. My Totally Formula Zombie Movie starts off in New York, as we focus in on Eddie, a douchey dude who just got fired from his high-paying job. Despite his recent job loss, he’s financially well off. His problem: spiritual bankruptcy. Contrast! His life is an endless parade of parties, ennui, girls, meh, and blah. But then…
He goes to a party. And this is when the story really kicks into high gear — less than ten minutes into the film. No zombies yet, but we know something’s brewing, coming to a boil in a mere few moments.
Cut to Eddie, after-partying the night away on his friend’s yacht, looking out into the elegantly lit New York City backdrop. And then…BAM! The city loses power. What’s up, what’s going on? Someone turn on the TV, quick. Just static. WTF. Check your computer! Nothing. Phones are dead.What, how? OMFG. Terrorism? Nothing makes sense. Let’s dock the yacht and figure out what’s going on…
Stay tuned for the motion picture, guys. The poster's gonna be killer.
