Bit by Bit: Finding Our Humanity Online and Off

I was cruising the Web with a friend today, foraging through Fandango, pillaging on Pandora, and seeking out some juicy gems on Facebook, when it dawned on me how much power the Internet truly has. And I mean this not only in the obvious way, but also in a more visceral sense — even when you’re spending time with a person face-to-face, the Internet can enhance the moment and make it pop. It can make it all the more immediate.

I'll explain. While the social potential of the Internet is pretty duh by this point, the reason I feel this topic is extra compelling snowballed out of the fact that tonight, I wasn’t with just any friend — I was on a first date.

That's right. A first date. To wit: We were enjoying ourselves in a blur of contentment after wolfing down the best Brussels sprouts I’ve ever had, when we proceeded to huddle around the laptop. As we sat in front of the computer, the awkwardness and crushing self-awareness that hover close to most first dates suddenly began to float away — we were just there, two friends having a fun time.

“Check out the comments for this movie!” “Ooh ooh, that’s a great song!” “Wait, you know Hannah too?” “Ha! What’s that face you’re making?” “OMG, your hand looks like it’s attached to that hobbit-looking dude.” “Oh check out this video, it was shot right outside your building.” “No way, I can’t believe she spelled that with an ‘s.’ What a poser!”

And on and on. It was a get-to-know-each-other experience set to fast forward. But more than that, it was a stimulating, effortless and enjoyable evening, and the connection we made was real. And no, I don’t mean this in a romantic, schlocky kind of way, but in a satisfying, warm and intrinsically human way.

So while many might forebode technology as the beginning of the end to our humanity — chipping away at our souls and sucking out whatever’s left of our spiritual essence — I believe it can bring us closer to whom we really are. We just need to relax, enjoy it and strap ourselves in for the ride. Yes?

Morph it Like a Polaroid Picture — Internet Events Flicker, Fade Away

As I was catching up on my online reading today, perusing my daily blog roundup for salacious posts on the latest Britney shenanigans, I came across this nifty little site that uses insta-technology to serve up some tantalizing results. The idea behind MorphThing is simple: With a few effortless clicks and drags, you can morph uber-known famous faces together to create quirky-if-somewhat-eerie images of celeb-hybrid spawns.

What sets this site apart from others of the same kin is the ease with which these morphs can be produced, the realism of (some of) the images, and the different Web 2.0 functionalities leveraged by the site. There are rankings, user ratings, comment streams, blog threads, homepage updates, e-mail-a-friend — the whole works. Hell yeah!

I know, I know, as a buzzy e-concept, Web 2.0 may be totes five-minutes-ago, but when it comes to consuming and blogging about sites like this, the term seems to fit the bill just right. MorphThing is the kind of Internet distraction that curious netizens like myself eat up in a heartbeat, if only to pass it on to our digital contacts in hopes we’re the early adopters of an inevitable viral cascade. It’s so digital zeitgeist: Play around with the site, tell your friends, recommend, get obsessed, tire of it, get over it, discard and move on to the next digital discovery.

Internet relevancy today is most glorious when it’s sugary and fleeting. Here today, gone tomorrow. A digital flash in the pan. Says so much, yet says nothing at all. Burns bright, then RIP. Like MorphThing. Amusing? Yes. Crafty? Also. Mind-blowing? Meh. Life-changing? Not so much. But it’s got some blogs a’buzzin’. Thoughts?

Let's See that Again! 10 Landmark Viral Videos of 2007

Top 10 lists have been bubbling up out of blogosphere with torrential tenacity this year. The Internet is brimming hysterically with them. And who doesn’t love lists, rankings and countdowns? I know I do! And so does everyone else who watches Vh1 or E! or even Animal Planet.

Anyway, this latest top 10 compilation comes straight from Gawker, and it’s one of the craziest and most hysterical I’ve seen so far — it's pure, unadulterated digital shock and awe. So what is it? It's a ranking of the most most popular and pop culturally (ir)relevant viral videos of 2007, of course!

Bet you can't watch any of these just once, no matter how much you try and pry your eyes away. Trust me: You'll be doing double-takes and re-clicking that Play button to get a good glimpse of the nutty goings-on in these videos, many of which I'm positive you've already seen.

Also, I think this list captures online zeitgeist the best, spouting absurd precision and one-up sarcasm with understated charm. The list makes a task of documenting the digital events that made the noisiest splash online this year, stopping Internets in their tracks and making them take notice.

Watch this “marvelous cut-the-chase montage” put together by the Gawker gang over and over again, then snap out of your dumbfounded daze and love on this post with some comments!

“I Personally Believe” These are the Most Illustrious Quotes of 2007

Like such as. Nothing like the Internet to mushroom kooky one-off events into pop cultural phenomena. Below a ranking of the five most memorable quotes of 2007, as reported by Reuters.com (I have no clue as to what metrics they might have used to come up with this list, btw):

1. “Don’t tase me, bro!”

2. “I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because some people out there in our nation don't have maps and I believe that our education like such as in South Africa and the Iraq and everywhere like such as and I believe that they should our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S. or should help South Africa and should help the Iraq and the Asian countries so we will be able to build up our future for ourgghh.”

3. “In Iran we don't have homosexuals like in your country.”

4. “That's some nappy-headed hos there.”

5. “I don't recall.”

Can you match the quote to the person who uttered the infamous words?

Don Imus — college student and rabble-rouser Andrew Meyer — Alberto Gonzales — Lauren Upton, Miss Teen South Carolina — Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

Check out the entire Top 10 list here for some more of those reckless and hare-brained verbal spews that rang and rattled with venomous viral force around the Net this year. Curiously tho, “Leave Britney alone!” was overlooked. What’s that about? Whatevz… Anyway, I’m sure these would all make some funky-ass t-shirts, don't you think?

Honest to Blog? Best and Worst of 2007

Tune in to iMediaConnection and find out which online marketing campaigns the experts are touting as cutting-edge for 2007. Widgets, UGC, touch points, mobile, video, clickthrough, viral, rollout, social media, BT, analytics… all the trendy marketing buzzwords and phrases are tossed around freely and without restraint here.

The article is chock-full of interesting opinion and fanciful forecasts for 2008, and will have you making conjectures and coming up with ideas of your very own.

So check it out to see which campaigns have been labeled phenomenal flops and which are considered the best and the brightest of 2007 (high-five for automotive and film!); also, find out what’s in store for next year and what's shaping up to be the next big marketing platform. Will it be mobile? Facebook’s Beacon? What do you think will be the biggest online marketing trend of 2008? And which up-and-coming marketing blogs deserve our praise?

Interactive Motion Logic: Groovy Lines for Groovy Minds

Yugop.com is a site unlike any you've ever made your way to before. This experimental online art house, brought to you by avante garde Japanese digital artist and branding expert Yugo Nakamuro, is making pixelated waves online — both literally and figuratively — thanks to its synchronized, mouse-sensitive motion animation experiences.

This Mr. Roboto-infused digital destination includes an RSS feed ready to stuff your reader with tons of eye-catching, precision-crafted digital goodies, as well as a comprehensive archive of interactive artworks created for edgy, high-profile clients like UNIQLO and XBOX 360; it also boasts fluid and futuristic functionality that serves up a myriad of techno-inspired surprises, all with a distinct and modern Japanese edge. Check it out. Domo arigato!

Music as Brushstroke — When Sounds Splash on a Digital Canvas

Here’s a standout site that a friend of mine sent my way last week. It’s really somethin’ else — and in an effort to keep you dialed in on the latest innovations popping up around the Web, I’ve decided to blog this one out.

Check it: The Life House Method is an imaginative proposition that uses specialized software to create musical portraits. Here's how it works: The software, created by a team manned by a composer/mathematician and comprised of Web developers and musicians, reads jpegs of your likeness as if following a grand staff, and then patches together musical notes and auditory references with sonorous, skillful sensuality to paint a unique musical masterpiece that captures your precise mood and personality.

It’s an all-out celebration of synesthesia — by merging the senses into one hallucinatory adventure, The Life House Method manages to blur the line between vision and sound by weaving pitch-perfect online sensory experiences that are bound to surprise. And with the latest news of Leonardo da Vinci encoding music into The Last Supper, the idea of creating harmony from images rings right on target.

With sweet pings, sultry arrangements, colorful notes, melodic clangs, pulsating beats, and at-attention rhythms, most of the portraits showcased have the power to both intrigue and provoke. So check it out. I know it has left me wondering: What would my very own musical portrait look— I mean, sound — like? What about yours?

Attention Internets: Has Web 2.0 Jumped the Shark?

Na-ah, not from where I'm standing! Alas, others would tend to disagree. Check out this video, courtesy of The Richter Scales, to see what I mean. It’s a riot, yes--and even though it brings up a significant point, I think on a deeper level tho, it totally misses the mark. Why? I believe that this time around, the digital money-making model online is already barreling full speed ahead, way past the point of no return.

As opposed to 2000 when the dot.com bubble burst leveled start-ups and interactive advertising constructs like and enraged e-tsunami, 2.0 has already gained enough critical mass and grown strong-enough roots to weather a stock windfall or an economic crisis--or even an ominous onslaught of postmodern parody.

And more than that: Interactive is no longer simply about reeling in some green: It’s about conversation, social participation, empowerment, and meaningful connections. Hell, even my mom's on Facebook now.

So if you haven't already, it's time to get in on the online game. The paranoia and trauma that resulted from the first Internet implosion is all but a bad dream now. Watch this video, laugh it up, and then blog about it! Oh, and let me know what your take on it is, obvz.

Guerilla Marketing Thru Instant Messaging

You’ve just come up with a standout sitelet-based marketing campaign. The creative is sparkling and spot-on, the messaging is laser-focused, and the troops are ready for deployment. There’s just one problem: There’s zero budget for an effective e-mail blast or OLA campaign to reel in some targeted traffic. So what to do?

There’s one alternative that might do the trick: Instant Messaging! That’s right. I’ve found that you can jump-start a promising campaign thru some of the chat channels most commonly used on the Web: MSN Messenger, Windows Messenger, Google Talk, AIM, or any other app you use to quick-relay digital dialogue.

And I’m not talking about IM spam either. Dialog windows that pop open with unwarranted commercial messages and interrupt you while at work will do your guerrilla campaign in. However, a simple URL in your IM status might be enough to pique your contacts’ curiosity.

This, in turn, can spark an engaging conversation, which can snowball into something unexpected. And if you have enough people doing this on your end, your brand can gain some edgy, underground awareness from a few much-coveted influencers and trendsetters, eventually pushing your campaign over the tipping point with some welcome viral force.

After all, it’s no secret that today, a well-intentioned e-mail campaign can disintegrate into garbage and unwanted spam in your recipients’ inbox if not executed with delicate precision and technological know-how. And no serious company wants that—even a start-up in desperate need of getting noticed.

So take a stab at a well-crafted guerilla strategy that leverages your IM contact lists. Can it yield the results you’re after?

Wordsmiths, Wield Your Sassy Social Consciousness!

I don’t mean to come across as completely insensitive, but social causes shepherded online usually rub me the wrong way. Cause invitations on Facebook are by far the most annoying: They’re pat and patronizing and a complete waste of my time. I seriously doubt that joining an online cause will magically-inexplicably put a dent on the world’s most insidious problems.

But today, I ran across a great site that helps you simultaneously improve your English skills and your social karma. Awesome! Now here's a cause I'm glad to sink my teeth into.

If you’re a word junkie like me, you’ll greatly appreciate FreeRice.com, an offshoot of the socially conscious world poverty site poverty.com. FreeRice promises to donate 20 grains of rice for every guess-the-synonym question you answer correctly on their site. Go ahead and put your knowledge of Webster's to the test. How much rice can you chalk up for those who need it the most?

What I really like about this site is that it helps you grow as a writer, it conveys an immediate sense of urgency when it comes to world hunger, and it prompts you to act on this urgency. And for those with a competitive edge, this social-aid-site-cum-verbal-quiz-machine also keeps score.

Offsetting your carbon footprint is sooo five minutes ago. After all, it’s not much fun to help save the world or whatever if you can’t get something out of it yourself, right? So play the game, donate some rice, and let me know how you fared!

Jazz Up the Internets with Sonic Images and Sound Events

Reading is a highly visual exercise, not only because eying a snippet of text is a visual act in-and-of-itself, but also because words and phrases call on memory and abstract association to evoke shapes, moving images and mental pictures.

This is especially true when it comes to ad copy, as most advertising is crafted so users “see” precisely what it is they're about to gain or miss out on. Evoking mental images through brisk, pithy and colorful writing is a proven, seductive way of piquing consumer interest, and produces effective calls to action.

Something I also try to do when authoring any piece of writing is to cater to the sense of sound. Whenever possible, I use alliteration, loud words, musicality, onomatopoeia, and other sonorous literary devices to spark auditory buzzes in the reader’s mind. This way, words not only pop in a user’s head, but seem also come at them as if mouthed from within earshot.

And today, the interactive space is not simply about seeing, it is also about hearing. As I roam online for juicy bits of information or plug away at work, I’m almost always listening to streaming radio and pretending I’m droppin’ it like it’s hot. Every so often, I’ll also download a podcast or two. And for the most part, I’m pleasantly surprised when I land on a corporate webpage that employs sound in ways innovative.

Do you know the difference between a sound event and a sonic image? You should, if you wish to learn how to leverage audio online without annoying the hell out of everyone. Check out this insightful article from iMedia Connection for a crash course on auditory website enhancements. It’s an eye- (or ear?) opener, and includes several real-life examples of how on-target audio cues are used by companies to further consolidate their branding online.

Does this ring true to you? What do you think are the best ways to use sound effects as auditory flashbulbs on the Web?

The Flighty Faux Pas of Shopping While at Work

I don’t mean to stifle your digital shopping habits with vexing online survey results, but I’m sure some of you are at least a tad curious as to how many professionals partake in the joys of Christmas capitalism while at work, right? Well, I’ve got, um, odd news.

First of all, it seems consumer organizations and consulting agencies are at a loss when it comes to accurately figuring out how big a chunk of the corporate workforce is bent on shopping at the office. Check out this post on Consumerist, which semi-successfully attempts to explain why the latest shopping-while-at-work surveys are all over the place with their numbers.

In the end tho, who cares! I already know that a lot of people shop from their desks, especially during the Holiday season, and more so than they care to admit. What I really want to know is: Is it considered socially acceptable to do your Christmas shopping online during office hours? My verdict: Totally! It would motivate me to think others believe so, also. Survey says: Not so much.

According to Spherion, a firm that conducted one of the aforementioned polls, more peeps seem to think shopping online while at work deserves some tsk-tsking, as opposed to those who think it’s completely acceptable. Dang. Interestingly, however, the same survey says the amount of workers buying online is up 27% from last year.

So what does this mean? Does it mean users out there are being naughty instead of nice? It seems like some working onliners are having a sort of moral-ethical crisis and supplanting it through their e-purchases, only to feel guilty later on... or something. Or, the surveys are simply meaningless PR ploys.

Whatever the case, no one can deny shopping online is now mainstream. So the question remains: Are you one of these shopping-while-at-work offenders? Come clean with a comment!

Quirky Online Games for the Plucky Office Procrastinator

I have to admit I’m a sucker for branded online games. I love the old-school feel that comes from playing them, the throwback to the Atari and original Nintendo-style graphics, the simplicity of the keyboard controls, and the thrill and gratification that comes from beating a game of low-to-medium difficulty. I’m hooked. And many users throughout the Internets are, too.

And more to the point: As viral marketing campaigns, online games almost always hit a bull’s eye. The reasons are obvious: They grab user attention for long periods of time, serve as free advertising, provide a distinct interactive brand experience, and help players self-identify with a specific corporate messaging.

Of course, any sort of online gaming experience—especially that of a nostalgic nature—will inevitably cut into the productivity of anyone’s day. It’s hard to hype up a time-consuming hobby frequently frowned upon at the office by administrative types. I’ve found, however, that dabbling in a little online fun can do just the trick to mushroom that imaginative spark and transform it into spot-on creative execution.

If, for example, you have a slam-dunk idea but still need to hash out the details, a dash of online gaming can help you carve out the finishing touches. Don’t believe me? Go ahead and check out some of the following branded games. If they don’t help you come up with some quirky and totally awesome digital marketing ideas of your very own, I invite you to go off on me on this very post with an irate comment or two. So here goes:

Headcase, from Wrigley’s Candystand: Use your mighty brainpower and oversized head to collect green diamonds and bounce your way out of chewy situations in this land of bubblegum wonders.

Absolut Disco, from Absolut Vodka: Not so much a game as a groovy online experience, this Studio54-inspired disco affair lets you boogie down to a myriad of keyboard-controlled late 70s psychedelia while using your webcam. Far out!

Zuma, by Yahoo! Games: From the makers of Bejeweled and Bookworm, this PC-only game is guaranteed to swallow up tons of your time. Swivel your stone frog and chuck your colored balls in the right direction before the hungry Aztec idol gobbles up the entire string of balls with a single swooping gulp.

Now that you know where to go, go ahead and kill some of that valuable office time. Let me know if these games get your creative juices flowing. Happy gaming!

Busted Big Time: Facebook's Late Adopters Turn the Tables

Be real: no matter how sure you are that you’re getting away with murder (metaphorically speaking, that is), there’s really no need to post pictures of it up on Facebook. Especially if you don’t want certain people eyeing your misadventures. It’s the social networking equivalent of filming a private sex video and then being surprised it popped up online somewhere.

Sears, all the latest controversy bubbling up in the blog circuit over the evident lack of privacy on Facebook has totally missed the boat. If you don’t want someone checking out your every personal detail, don’t make a point of posting it on Facebook. Or My Space. Or anywhere else on the Net, for that matter.

Because no matter which way you slice it, it will end up being your fault, and you'll be kicking yourself to the grave. Take note: if you upload something you don’t want others to see, it will come back and bite you in the you-know-what, guaranteed.

The reason for this rant is that I am all sorts of embarrassed for one Kevin Colvin, bank intern by day, wand-toting party fairy by night. It turns out this Facebook “early adopter” (ha!) didn’t go to work for a couple of days, claiming he had a pressing family issue. Ok dude, do what you have to do, hope everything works out.

But then... oops! A coworker jacked some pictures this guy posted on Facebook during the days he was away from work that clearly show him NOT attending to a family situation. His boss got a hold of one of these not-so-flattering photographs (with the dude partying it up in a fairy costume), and responded by attaching the photo to an email reply and bcc’ing the entire company. Uh-huh, that's right.

Harsh. And a tad extreme. Anyway, online ridicule ensued, as the e-mail thread landed in the inboxes of friends and colleagues throughout the land. And of course, blogs are eating this one up. Go ahead and check out the cringe-worthy e-mail exchange here. I'm still reeling.

So my whole point is, if you are going pull one over The Man, at least make sure to cover your tracks. Geez. I’m sure all of us have done something similar at one point or another in our careers. But we have the decency and brains to be smart about it. Right?

I’d actually be laughing at this if it wasn’t so painfully embarrassing. I mean, check out the picture! Some one put him out of his misery please, for my sake.

As one commenter noted on Valleywag (the blog that broke the story): “Okay, that’s one way of letting the entire office know you’re gay…” LOL. And all of online for that matter. I wonder if this kid has what it takes to become the next Chris Crocker. Thoughts?

Online Inventions for the Postmodern Imagination

Go ahead and admit it, you love reading about quirky inventions and wacky machinations. And I’ve got great news: The Internet is chock-full of these. Across online, there are improbable creations and crazy inventions for all tastes, stripes and minds. Some of these are slightly jarring, some are cute; others seem to start off with right idea but resort to ridiculous execution, and still others don’t make any sense whatsoever. Like, at all.

Anyway, despite (or perhaps due to) the fact that I have been swamped with work of late, I decided to explore the inner nooks of digital this morning in search for something that could afford me a much-needed sweet escape.

Luckily, I didn’t have to look too far. A friend and colleague of mine hit me with a link to Weird Inventions by Saddletrout Studios, a wacky site featuring a collection of totally-out-there devices that have absolutely no functional use you could think of—image renditions and all! The descriptions read like how-to copy pulled straight out of a product features catalog (awesome!), infusing the page with an decided dash of deadpan humor.

From an indoor sundial to hypno-glasses, these inventions-that-never-were are guaranteed to provide the stressed-out office rat a welcome dose of comic relief. The disclaimer at the top of the page says it all:

“Many of the items on this page could very well be dangerous if actually built and used. I can not be responsible for accidents, and do not encourage anyone to actually build or use these contraptions. All that aside, please enjoy your visit.”

My heightened interest in nonsensical and otherwise batty creations then led me to the following site, the Patently Absurd Archive, a comprehensive collection of offbeat-yet-real, USA-patented inventions that, for what you would think should be obvious reasons even to the creator, have not yielded runaway commercial success. The archive chalks up one sears impressive list. Do yourself a favor and check it out!

The question remains tho: Is there anything you believe this world is in need of? Put on your inventor’s hat and get to it! And send the idea my way!

"Provocative Paranoia" of 2.0 Pays Off In Spades

No doubt, blogging has become the standalone tool for up-and-coming journalists and media critics to jumpstart their careers by blazing a trail online. Because of this, the blogosphere is thriving as a vibrant and dynamic patchwork of media musings, observation, and news analysis.

The spectrum rolls wide: There's incisive commentary, vapid criticism, innovative writing, false reporting, nuanced gossiping, quirky news gathering, and more, much of which has the ability to disseminate at brushfire speed. It’s information democracy.

Still, many an old media partisan holds a staunch fealty to the tenants of a journalism that is no longer, discrediting the merits of online with off-putting, chip-on-the-shoulder contempt.

Which is why I was elated to read mediabistro's interview of John Micklethwait, Editor-in-Chief of The Economist. After some interesting insights, Micklethwait buoyantly announces that, as opposed to other newsweeklies which have been blindsided by the advent of online, The Economist has actually fared quite well with the rising tide of digital. Here’s a snippet of what he had to say:

“We remain provocatively paranoid about the Internet; you have to be thinking of ways in which you can deal with it. When I first came on I thought of the Internet as this sort of hurricane coming right towards us that had already hit newspapers and now would come to magazines, which were further ashore. But now it seems to be sort of glancing magazines, rather than hitting directly. It's not true for all magazines -- there are some that have been hit quite badly -- but the sort of thing that we're doing at the moment seems to be helping us rather than hurting us, because it's putting so much more information out there.”

In seven years, as the explosion of Web 2.0 has caused many a print publication to tumble, The Economist has managed to increase magazine sales by 107 percent—all thanks to an aggressive (if belated) courting of the digital space.

This sends a powerful message to old media advocates, one that many Internets have been toting with aplomb for a long time now: Embrace digital, or face an agonizing death... Yes?

Kids, There's a Killer in Your Midst

Here’s a post on Consumerist I think is all kinds of awesome. It turns out that a German Christmas advent calendar designed for kids, just released by the city of Hanover, features a cartoon depiction of… guess what… A serial killer!

That’s him above inside the yellow circle. He's lurking behind the tree, ominously looking around for potential victims amongst the chirpy families playing about. What's that in his hand? A butcher’s knife! And this bloodthirsty sadist has a name: Fritz Haarmann.

The calendar is currently for sale at major bookstores across northern Germany. And Hans Nolte, Director of the Tourism Board of the City of Hanover, is all about the serial killer, it turns out. “He’s part of our history,” he boasts.

Love it. No Holiday calendar would be complete without some sort of allusion to kid-happy blood splatter. Not surprisingly, no matter how many vexed and concerned citizens belt out in disbelief, most seem to be eating it up.

“People are cueing up to buy the calendar now,” notes Nolte. I want one too, and I don’t even live in Germany. “It’s like a twisted Where’s Waldo. I like it,” a Consumerist reader opines. LOL. It really does look like Where’s Waldo. It’s the artwork, no? Talk about postmodern irony.

According to Reuters, Fritz Haarmann, who murdered more than 20 people in the 1920s, including kids, is only one of 23 local historical figures in northern Germany that are portrayed in the calendar. Other notables include band members from the 80’s heavy metal hair band The Scorpions. I suppose the calendar is meant to teach kids about history and instill regional pride?

It’s quite the dicey proposition. There's something definitely very Simpsonesque about it, wouldn't you agree? And there's nothing like having a murderer up on your kid’s wall to really capture that Christmas spirit. I hope next year they sprinkle the calendar with hard-to-find cartoons of other famous serial killers, like Jack the Ripper maybe, or that busted chick from Monster. I know they’re not from Germany, but whatevz. Thoughts?

Television News Rolls Way Off the Tracks

I was watching CNN last night for the first time in about four months, thinking about how much I used to enjoy television before the digital space seduced me oh-so-deliciously, when I realized just how dorky the anchors on this cable news network really are.

I know most people have beef with the in-your-face attitude of the Fox News correspondents, but at least it seems like they have something important to say, and they’re not two-faced about their political slant. The delivery of the CNN folks just doesn’t cut it for me; it comes off as hypocritical. And the news! It’s a joke.

I was actually plugging away at my laptop and wasn't particularly interested at what was coming from the screen last night, but I did manage to capture a little of the awkward banter that was exchanged so profusely by the talking heads during Anderson Cooper 360.

There was some chitchat about a high-priced hybrid cat for sale in California (okay...), and then the show ended with the silver-haired anchor urging users to send in v-mails, because at CCN, they not only like to read our opinions, they love seeing us, too. How Web 2.0. Whatever. This could have passed for innovative like 5 years ago, maybe.

Then it was time for Larry King Live. Ok, I’ll stay tuned, I thought. I was too busy crafting an e-mail to change the channel. To my utter dismay, the guest was “CNN’s own” Lou Dobbs. Snap.

I need to call a time out here and let you guys know how much I hate this guy. He’s been the bête noire of television news for the past few years, at least for me. I try never to watch his show; it’s bad for my liver. I find him a doughy, thinly-veiled bigot--a man who claims to stand for “American” ideals of days gone by, or of days that never were. He spews gruff condescension and touts an inward-looking, nationalistic doctrine that irresponsibly dismisses the powerful forces currently shaping the world that he so blindly decries. And, he had the audacity to proclaim that his viewers never disagree with him. Right.

Television news is blowing chunks at epic proportions. Lou Dobbs can bite it, for all I care. My last hope for television news was CNN, but now I realize that even this network has become too self-serving for its own good. It’s no longer about news—it’s about self-promotion, ego pandering, and needless filler. Maybe I’ll try BBC News next time. Which is when I decided: No one’s forcing me to watch this. Time to turn it off.

I went for the remote and quickly zapped away the noise coming from my TV, and then contentedly dived back online.

Pop! Goes the World (Wide Web)

I love the media because it’s at a frenzy: It brims with postmodern delights, and provides at once disarming and unsettling experiences. It dispatches a myriad of visual and auditory episodes at a constant, rapid-fire rate, forcing even the most jaded introvert to wield at least a dash of pop-culture literacy.

The vortex of media today lies online. The Internet is where television, movies, literature, advertising and art all come together, and as such, digital powers up pop culture in ways unprecedented. It both defines and lends pop media (historical?) significance; what was once a trackless waste of disjointed and oftentimes creatively tone deaf cultural concoctions is now the stuff of online analysis, legend and sticky speculation.

Flummery to some perhaps, saddled with meaning and humor for others, pop culture as captured by online is a dynamic, circuitous, and trashy-chic phenomenon that reflects the absurdity and fleetingness of the human condition. Thanks to digital, it is beginning to take on unexpected importance in business, art, and even architecture, as well as in the day-to-day lives of many online professionals.

From comprehensive sites like Cracked.com offering up pop cultural fare such as assessments on the “15 Most (Painfully) Unforgettable Cartoon Theme Songs” and a rundown of the “7 Most Easily Escapable Movie Monsters,” to ezines like PopMatters, “an international magazine of cultural criticism” where literary condescension is par for the course, online is now where pop culture takes its shape.

There’s no denying it. In the catchy words of Men Without Hats, “pop! goes the world.” And my heart. What about yours?

Let’s Love on the Wooden-Leg Goats

Here’s a post that’s not at all salacious, hair-raising, or meaning-laden. Just as I promised, I’ve decided to spill a bit amount of blog ink on… yes… farm animals! Not ponies though. I’ve taken a scant amount of creative license here and departed from my earlier commitment to talk about gimp horses to revel in something way better: fainting goats! Yes, that’s right. Fainting goats.

They don’t really faint at all though. They’re actually called myotonic goats. They’re all the rage in some parts of online, and for good reason. When they get excited, their muscles stiffen up, causing them to topple over like dominoes. Petrificus totalus!

In a world where no one bats an eye at the latest news of massacres or bombs or flash floods, these guys are making quite a splash, garnering their fair amount of much-deserved attention. Why? Check out this clip and see for yourself. It’s hilarious.

It sure beats looking at Britney Spears in a hot pink-purple tigress costume. Ew. I’ll take fainting goats over Hollywood trainwrecks-on-a-suicide-mission any day.

So how else can I spruce of this post? How about videos of plucky cats and their crazy antics? They’re straight-up super cheesy, but they still amuse. If it’s not your cup ‘o tea, well, we can just stick to the fainting goats. What do you think?