Kids, There's a Killer in Your Midst

Here’s a post on Consumerist I think is all kinds of awesome. It turns out that a German Christmas advent calendar designed for kids, just released by the city of Hanover, features a cartoon depiction of… guess what… A serial killer!

That’s him above inside the yellow circle. He's lurking behind the tree, ominously looking around for potential victims amongst the chirpy families playing about. What's that in his hand? A butcher’s knife! And this bloodthirsty sadist has a name: Fritz Haarmann.

The calendar is currently for sale at major bookstores across northern Germany. And Hans Nolte, Director of the Tourism Board of the City of Hanover, is all about the serial killer, it turns out. “He’s part of our history,” he boasts.

Love it. No Holiday calendar would be complete without some sort of allusion to kid-happy blood splatter. Not surprisingly, no matter how many vexed and concerned citizens belt out in disbelief, most seem to be eating it up.

“People are cueing up to buy the calendar now,” notes Nolte. I want one too, and I don’t even live in Germany. “It’s like a twisted Where’s Waldo. I like it,” a Consumerist reader opines. LOL. It really does look like Where’s Waldo. It’s the artwork, no? Talk about postmodern irony.

According to Reuters, Fritz Haarmann, who murdered more than 20 people in the 1920s, including kids, is only one of 23 local historical figures in northern Germany that are portrayed in the calendar. Other notables include band members from the 80’s heavy metal hair band The Scorpions. I suppose the calendar is meant to teach kids about history and instill regional pride?

It’s quite the dicey proposition. There's something definitely very Simpsonesque about it, wouldn't you agree? And there's nothing like having a murderer up on your kid’s wall to really capture that Christmas spirit. I hope next year they sprinkle the calendar with hard-to-find cartoons of other famous serial killers, like Jack the Ripper maybe, or that busted chick from Monster. I know they’re not from Germany, but whatevz. Thoughts?